I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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