apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Lo siento on account of my penis...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
