You made me cry and you don't even care
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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