I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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