It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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