Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
