I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
