I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
its liver damage thursday
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
