Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize