why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
True strength comes from lack of pants
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize