So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
