i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
