I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
