i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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