hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
