and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
