if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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