in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
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I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
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I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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