No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Michael Bay diarrhea
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
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