I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
