she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Ladies don't puke and tell
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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