I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
