Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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