The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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