Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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