Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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