No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
