he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize