I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I haven't been this sober since birth.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
