I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
