I want to have your abortion
one two three fourrrrnication!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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