I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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