Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
