The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
