i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
