First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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