these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
