on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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