R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
