Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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