He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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