I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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