I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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