We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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