at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
