That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
