By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
