i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
