drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
