How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
