I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
no you cant smoke seaweed
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
