Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
