...so i touched it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
