This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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