John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
