Please, let me fuck your mom
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i've created a new STD.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
