I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
