It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
