I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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