What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
