I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
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She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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