Small penises have feelings too.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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