I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
