I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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